Making

July 7, 2023 | Kelly Barrow @ Faithacre Studio

So, I got some positive and encouraging response to my last post. Positive and encouraging is always a good thing!

I’ve decided to start making the art cards again even though I have a jarful already made. I enjoy the process and it’s a way to add more mindfulness to my day which I struggle with. I’m not great (yet) at sitting and thinking and just “being”. I tend to fill my minutes with activity and to-do’s and making art cards is sort of an in-between thing between the two.

Once a quote is chosen and the basic card designed, it’s all about the paints, paper, messy hands and process – mindless and mindful at the same time. It’s a good activity for me to engage in.

It’s also partly a “product” oriented activity as I’m making something for a purpose – art to share with the world in a small way.

Process and product!

In keeping with my goal to become a zero(ish) waste household this year and to get out of debt, I’ve decided to challenge myself to only use supplies that I have on hand and can re-use and re-purpose from things that show up in my life – mail, packaging materials and the like. I’m going to make do with what I have and purchase nothing. It shouldn’t be a problem. I have a lot of supplies “hoarded” in my studio and I haven’t been working creatively for quite a while.

Hopefully, making the cards will ease me back into art-making!

I’m hopeful that these cards continue to make their way into the world and bless someone’s day…

Renewing

June 26, 2023June 28, 2023 | Kelly Barrow @ Faithacre Studio

This blog site came up for renewal recently and I did nothing. Reminder after reminder came and went…and I still did nothing. But today, I decided that ignoring things was an old coping mechanism and not one that worked effectively.

I logged on and was shocked to find that I haven’t written here since February 2021. It honestly doesn’t seem like it has been that long and somehow seems to be much longer than that.

This jar sits on my shelf…

It is full of cards that I made years ago when I was enthusiastic about sharing them. And then life happened and sharing them was not an option and then more life happened in the form of a severe depressive episode that morphed into a need to re-evaluate everything.

I’m cleaning out my studio today – mindfully making decisions about what kind of art I want (need) to make now and what supplies I need to do so.

I crave less and less personal belongings and more space and freedom.

At the beginning of the year I chose the word “abundance” to guide my decisions. Almost two years of therapy and hard work has shown me that I tend to live in fear and a mindset of scarcity. I collect and possibly hoard things that I might need someday in order.

Thinking about doing things and actually doing them are (of course) separate things entirely. Having art supplies is not the same as using art supplies – and being afraid to use them because you won’t have them any longer is crippling and non-productive.

And so – I’m looking at this jar. And wondering what to do with the cards inside. Do I share them as I originally intended?

OR do I let them go and move on. Did making them serve a purpose. Is is time to let them go and acknowledge that there is some grief to be processed with that decision?

Along with the grief, I can almost picture a celebration or who I am becoming with the decision to move on to another project…

Can I do both? Let go of the cards into the world and try something new?

How would an empty jar on the shelf look and feel – like a loss or an opportunity?

daily art journal page 2/18/2021

February 19, 2021 | Kelly Barrow @ Faithacre Studio

gathering snow

Image | February 17, 2021 | Kelly Barrow @ Faithacre Studio

sunflowers

February 16, 2021 | Kelly Barrow @ Faithacre Studio

We are celebrating here in Central Texas. Temperature is all the way up to 10 degrees F! Up from 1 degree when I got up this morning.

We still have power although it is going on and off. This is a blessing that I am not taking for granted…so many of my neighbors, friends, family and fellow Texans do not have and have not had for many hours…some going on their second day.

No running water. We turned it off at the street to try and save our pipes. The well pump for our neighborhood is failing and water lines are frozen. We prepared for this, but it is still hard.

Roads are mostly impassable. Our county is out of sand to use on the roads.

We are doing ok.

I am thinking about sunshine and sunflowers and 100+ degree weather for 50 straight days like we had last summer.

I was probably dreaming of snow then…

alter

February 15, 2021 | Kelly Barrow @ Faithacre Studio

al·ter/ˈôltər/verb: alter; 3rd person present: alters; past tense: altered; past participle: altered; gerund or present participle: altering

change or cause to change in character or composition, typically in a comparatively small but significant way. Similar: change, make changes, to make differen,t make alterations, to adjust

It’s been a long while since I posted here.

A significant amount of time.

I contemplated abandoning this page or deliberately doing away with it entirely, but…

I am not one for giving up.

So, I finally decided to leave it as a separate entity from my other blog and devote it to my art efforts…at least for now.

The art cards are sitting in a box on a shelf in my studio. A pandemic is not the time for sharing…

I don’t really go out all that much anymore. Not just the pandemic, but life changes. I am enjoying being a Nana as I spend the weekdays being a “nanny” to my two grandsons. My daughter is working remotely from our home as a graphic designer.

It is busy work, but doesn’t leave a lot of time for art-making. I probably use that as an excuse for avoiding creating. It is an easy way to avoid confronting my inner critic that has become a very loud presence in my head.

“Why bother? You aren’t that talented. Nobody wants to look at that crap. Anybody can do what you do. It’s a waste of time…”

I’ve discovered that if I don’t constantly and consistently work to silence that voice it becomes louder and stronger and more persistent.

I enjoy making stuff…cutting, painting, scribbling, glue on my hands. The actual process is peaceful and a notebook filled and bulging with ephemera and images is rewarding in itself.

I should do it just for me…just because.

But then I wonder – if I do have a gift (shut up inner critic) shouldn’t it be shared?

Shouldn’t I develop it?

Even if I’m terrified of opening up and risking the sharing?

Should I share because the thought of doing so terrifies me?

Don’t give into the fear and challenge the voice that tells me to lay low and not take a risk?

All things to think about and work through.

For now, I’m going to use this space to post a daily journal page…

and see what happens in the making and sharing of that page.